The Humpty Dance

there will be a lot of things i will miss at uw-bothell. the small classes, the great professors, the cozy campus nestled ever so pleasantly in the bothell forest. in just a year and change, i have become attached to the little extension campus that could. but there is one thing that i will miss more than anything, even though i have only recently discovered its presence. this quarter, i have two day classes followed by an evening one, and in between i have roughly two hours to fill. what to do? mainly, ive been blogging, reading and "studying" in the library. and in this library contains the jewel of the uwb campus. (wow such build up here).

the first time i walked into the main floor bathroom, i instantly noticed the heat. i am taken back to the baths in budapest and their insanely warm saunas. do they know they are blasting the heat like this? the campus is known for being one of the most eco-friendly campuses in the nation; are they not worried about their energy bill? anyway - its warm. but once you get used to it, its nice. the weather is chilly outside and the heat, although a bit uncomfortable at first, becomes tolerable.

now im not one to discuss what one does behind the closed doors of a bathroom stall, but the other day i had to go. i am not a fan of public restrooms simply for the fact that they are disgusting. urinals are cool though. anyone who knows me knows that ive never had a problem peeing anywhere (off a raft in front of 30 people anyone?). but taking care of other business is something i like to do at home. dropping a duece if you will. there is truely no place like home.

on this particular day, i could not wait. and low and behold, i entered the uwb library bathroom stall. clean. theres a magazine rack bolted to the wall that folds out so that you dont have to hold the disgusting newspapers someone elses feces ridden hands have touched. the toilet seat is the real treat though. its not one of those standard seats that makes you think as you lower your ass, "am i gonna cover this whole area?" the seat is the perfect distance apart, but not so close that youre making bank shots.

the seat itself is made of something softer than the normal toilet. like sitting on a couple buttermilk pancakes. the toilet paper dispenser also manages not to make you feel like you have to play tug of war in order to get a few squares. the tp slides out no problem. no tearing. most dispensers give you that feeling that you have to pull ever so gently, like you are pulling from the grasp of a sleeping grizzly bear.

there is also a bulletin on the door bragging about how much water the school is saving by making the "no touch flush" a "touch flush." but whats most hilarious about this is the fact that someone took the time to write a paragraph on that sheet of paper explaining how the touch-no touch flush makes no sense. literally a paragraph. and its not like you can write this from the comforts of the toilet seat. you have to stand in order to reach it. i barely want to be in the bathroom long enough to go to the bathroom. but to stand in a stall before or after taking care of business and writing a paragraph about this is sad. actually gross. but it made me chuckle.

the uw-bothell library bathroom is what i will miss the most about uwb even though i have only been in the presence of this crown jewel once. but i am eagerly anticipating my return. i have a whole quarter to make up for lost time.