The Humpty Dance

some may be bold, others might be stupid, but here are MY new years resolutions for 2008, my 28th year on planet earth.

1. see a concert in EVERY ONE of seattle's music venues.

2. get a job that will in no way include the use of a mop or a broom.

3. put all my eggs in one basket.

4. decrease any debt by 50%.

5. adopt a dog and name him "help."

6. win a fist fight with a little person (midget or obese child).

7. make more irrational decisions.

8. speak conversational spanish by the time i write this again.

9. try out for i love new york 3, win, then dump her on the reunion show.

10. be nicer to my enemies and meaner to my friends.

11. play basketball at least once a week.

12. be a better father to my children, and son to my parents.

13. drive less, walk more.

14. start taking HgH.

15. master the yo-yo.

16. get jump soles, increase my vertical leap by a minimum of 6 inches.

17. try a new beer a week, til ive tried all the beers of the world.

18. get my car lowered and the windows tinted and act more douche-y.

19. dance.... sober. (not sure i can do this)

20. make someone's dreams come true. and by someone I mean myself. and by come true, i mean fall short, but feel good about making them originally.

21. put more gel in my hair.

22. put less effort in my appearance.

23. do something amazing (like hurdling a car or saving a baby from a burning building) while intoxicated.

24. go to a rave with glowsticks while wearing a diaper.

25. make more people laugh, my friends want to better themselves, and strangers to follow my example.

... if you see me ask me how my resolutions are going. keep in mind that they do not begin until the stroke of midnight on Jan 1st. I am looking forward to 2008 as i will be graduating from school and beginning a new life as an adult. i also wish everyone a happy and safe new year and that the resolutions you make will be as successful as mine will be.