The Humpty Dance

so i made a bunch of resolutions for 2007 and since the year will be over in a matter of days, its time to revisit them and see if i came through on any of them. here goes.

Grow more leg hair - not really, turns out i grew more armpit hair.

Learn to balance more objects on my nose - up to a bowling pin.

Take more baths - still a shower guy since 1991.

Install rubber floors in the living room - bad idea if you fall asleep on the couch and roll off in the middle of the night.

Adopt a child - the 8 year old chinese boy ran away in august.

Try out for a reality TV show - tila tequila's a bitch.

Have a friendship-ruining arguement with at least one of my friends - i will always remember you luis.

Live in the past - every day of my life!

Bottle my emotions up more - im a ticking time bomb.

Lie to the people who mean most to me - if they only knew the lies ive been living in the past 12 months.

Acquire a minor league hockey team and hire Emilio Estevez as the head coach - hockey is a lame sport and estevez is apparently a busy man.

Ride an elephant - i rode in a prius, does that count?

Win the Heisman trophy by at least 100 votes - friggin tim tebow. didnt even get invited to new york. turns out you have to be a college football player too.

Give subscriptions to Swank for everyone's birthday - turns out grandmas dont like porn.

Quit smoking - clean for three months. make that two days. actually three hours.

Find my birth parents - funny cause the people i had been referring to as my parents, are actually my birth parents too. small world.

Think of better New Year's Resolutions for next year - to be continued...